IN his OWN WORDS...

Mr Brian Rowe - Big Issue Vendor & Survivor of the Falklands War 1982

I was born in Witham Essex in 1959, I have five brothers and three sisters.

I left school at 16 and joined the Royal Navy as a Gunner on HMS Cardiff. After seven years service, I was sent to the Falklands to serve my country. I used to fire shells but never saw the impact of what I was doing or the people that I may have killed. That’s what I was trained to do so I didn’t think about it at the time.

For me, the Falklands experience was horrible and it preyed on my mind for months and years afterwards. I was more affected by the experience than I realised. I thought I would come home to a hero’s welcome but when I didn’t, that’s when the shock set in. I found it hard to cope after coming home and eventually took voluntary redundancy in 1984. The Services never supported me after I left and I was never properly diagnosed. I still believe I had post traumatic stress disorder but nobody helped so I tried to cope on my own.

I had left the structure of family and school and then the Navy and without that structure it was hard to cope. Simple things like paying bills and managing finances were alien to me – we didn’t have to do that at school or in the forces. After a year out of the Navy my wife left me and we got divorced, that’s when I had a breakdown.

"I still believe I had post traumatic stress disorder but nobody helped so I tried to cope on my own."

She has since remarried and I haven’t seen my son since he was 6 years old. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of them. My son would be 25 now and has done well and went to university. I am just disappointed in myself for not being there for him.

I drifted to London and saw people selling the Big Issue and I eventually decided to have a go. I have been selling for five years now and it has made a big difference to my life. In the last few months I have got off the streets and am now living in a hostel in Victoria.

I love meeting people – that’s the best part of selling the Issue. It’s great when people stop and say hello, it’s nice to feel part of the community and feel that people actually care.

Some people still say “Get a job” or “Tramp”. I have been attacked, punched, head butted and spat at. What can you do – you just have to laugh it off. I think many people see me and presume I have always been homeless, they don’t know my personal history. They don’t realise I’m just like them – could they one day be like me?

"It’s great when people stop and say hello, it’s nice to feel part of the community and feel that people actually care."

I have been homeless for 13 years and done lots of jobs including kitchen fitting, plumbing and electrics, I have even worked in a factory. I liked the kitchen fitting and plumbing – perhaps that is something I could do one day.

Somebody asked me what I would love to do in the future and I’d love to be a handy man on a desert island! More realistically, I’d love to see Spurs play – I’m a life long fan but I haven’t been able to afford to go in over 16 years. Maybe one day, when we lift the premiership trophy - I’ll be there!