John Barrowman interview: "I wouldn’t say no to having children"

At 16 I was a breezy kid, never angsty. The biggest thing was that I knew I was gay and I didn’t tell anyone but that never deterred me from doing anything. Nor did I allow it to change my behaviour, who I was as a person. I didn’t tell my family until I was in my early 20s but I didn’t fret about it. I wasn’t doing anything sexual with anyone at that time anyway. The only concern was, I used to dread school dances. Because on the way home you were expected to make out with a girl, give them a pet, and I really didn’t want to do it. But outside of that I was happy to go out with girls and they liked me. They had this good-looking guy on their arm and he was no threat at all – I just told them their shoes looked fabulous and their dress was great.

I had lots of crushes. Dave Marchand was the one I remember most. We used to all go out in our neighbourhood – sneak a bevvy. I used to dare him to streak while cars were running past, just so I could see him naked. And he used to do it. Oh dear. As a gay man you can get away with an awful lot.

It would absolutely amaze my younger self to know he’d be friends with West End legends one day. I member sitting in my bedroom with my good friend Laura listening to the CD of The Phantom of the Opera. I asked her what she wanted to be and she said she wanted to do something that helped people. And she said, and we all know what you want to do. I said, yes, I want to work with people like this, who make these kind of shows. I want to be part of that world. Five years later there I was onstage in the West End. And now I know Andrew [Lloyd Webber], and I know Cameron [Mackintosh], all those guys – amazing!

As a gay man you can get away with an awful lot

It would blow my 16-year-old’s brain even more if I told him: you’re going to be one of the most iconic characters in Doctor Who for the next two or three generations. I think I was part of the greatest season of Doctor Who ever. And Billie Piper and I were 20 or 15 votes apart, voted number one and number two, in the poll for the best companion in the history of Doctor Who. I think David Tennant was the best ever Doctor, no one can hold a candle to him. I used to watch Doctor Who with John Pertwee, then Tom Baker, every Sunday night on the local Chicago TV station. I failed every Monday morning spelling test because of that show.

I still had a girlfriend right up to college. If I could go back I’d say to myself, look John, just call it off. I was doing a show and I was secretly seeing the Spanish dancer guy in the same show and my girlfriend showed up to surprise me. Stefanie Powers was in the show and I ran down to her dressing room in a panic, saying, Marilyn’s just shown up, what should I do? She said, just tell her you’re in love with me. And that’s when I realised it was all a bit ridiculous. So after the show I told Marilyn the truth, I just sat her down and told her. And that was that.

I have no problem with fame. I love it when people come up and talk to me and I do my best to chat and take selfies. I always knew that if I got the life I wanted, fame would be part of it and the best thing would be to embrace it. I don’t understand why a lot of celebrities become bigheads, asking people not to approach them – don’t talk to me, don’t look at me when I walk past… Fuck off! These people who behave like their shit is sugar. Complete wankers.

If I could go back I’d say thank you to my choir teacher David Dankworth, who heard me singing in a rehearsal closet and asked me if I’d like to audition for a musical. I said yes. He asked me: are you arrogant? And I didn’t know what the word meant so I said yes. And I got the part, as a first year student, over all the older kids. And they all hated me [laughs like a drain].

I’m perfect as a partner. No, I’m joking… but I’ve always been a thoughtful and caring person. I’ve always listened to other people. Scott, my partner, might say I’m quite particular and that can drive someone a bit crazy sometimes. I can see that. I do have a temper, and if you push my buttons the wrong way I can get very angry. I usually give people three chances and once you cross them all out you’ll hear about it. But I can probably count on two hands people I’ve really lost it with.

I usually give people three chances and once you cross them all out you’ll hear about it

I wouldn’t say no to having children but right now, sitting in my car, going from Manchester to Birmingham, how would a kid cope with that kind of life? Scott keeps saying he’ll do it if I do it but that’s not how it works. You don’t go to Tesco and pick up a couple of kids and arrive home saying, look, here’s a family. No, we both have to be very involved. And I can’t force him to become a stay-at-home dad. I decided in my early 20s that my career would be my priority, that it would be the best way to have the life I wanted. I’m not saying I’m the best but I know if you hand me a song and give me a pianist, I can sing the shit out of it.

If I could go back and relive one moment in my life, I’d go to the moment I got the job as Captain Jack [above] in Doctor Who. I’d gone to audition for this role of a rogue, matinee idol type, in front of the execs Russell T Davies and Phil Collinson. I walked into the meeting with my motorbike leathers on, and I took my helmet off and shook out my hair. Later on Russell told me: “When you walked into that room and took your helmet off, we both fucking wet ourselves. You were so handsome, and your physique with those leathers on… We thought we were watching some kind of porn movie. Neither of us could remember much about what you said after that.” Later on I was walking through the West End and I got a phone call; they said, hands down, without a doubt, everyone agrees John Barrowman is definitively Captain Jack. I started screaming in the middle of Covent Garden and then I ran and did a Jimmy Cagney backflip off a wall. That was the day my life changed forever.