I wound up living in my car after coming out as a lesbian. Now I use music to help people heal

A few years ago, Manchester rapper OneDa was living in her car.

“I was there about six months. I didn’t have enough money to sort of live in a hotel or anything like that,” the musician, real name Onye Ezeh, recalls. “It was rough.”

The mum-of-one – who was in the first year of a social work master’s degree at the time – found herself on the streets after telling her family she was gay. The sudden eviction left her with no choice but to “park up in the car”.

“My dad said I could come back if I took it back, saying that I was a lesbian,” she recalls. “Like that makes any sense! It was a mad time. But I’m not embarrassed about [living in my car]. It had to be done. Somehow, I knew I would be OK.”

It has, in fact, worked out more than OK. Ezeh’s career is taking off. She just won this year’s ‘One to Watch; AIM award, weeks after releasing her debut album, Formula OneDa. Meanwhile, she’s spearheading Herchester, a platform dedicated to supporting female and non-binary rappers. It’s all about proving to naysayers “just how powerful it is to be your authentic self”.

The Big Issue spoke to OneDa about her deeply personal debut record – and about what the future holds.

BIG ISSUE: Congratulations on the AIM award. How do you feel?

ONEDA: It feels good just to be recognised, you know, for what I do. I’m here just doing me really, so when people actually recognise what you’ve done, it’s great.

How long have you been playing music? What was your upbringing like?

I’ve been dabbling all my life. It’s really in the past four to five years or so that I decided to take music seriously as a career, instead of just as a hobby.

I was raised in a strict Christian household that was full of poverty as well. Both my parents are pastors. It was quite difficult to live in the UK, as a British girl, but with all of this African heritage and Christian values.

I played a trumpet from the age of five. It was a roll-out that the government were doing for certain schools, giving them free brass instruments. Then my dad said that I had to give it up, because it would get me in trouble.

You studied music therapy and social work. Why was that?

I’d given up on actually becoming a musical artist. So I thought, OK, what’s the best way I can try and still use my music? [I wanted to use] music to help young people, or people that were my situation, young people that were straying in the wrong way, really. Music helped me when I was straying in the wrong way.

I was kicked out of schools and in trouble with police all the time as a youngster, and music sort of gave me a purpose.

So I studied social work and music therapy. My final master’s dissertation was on the use of hip-hop therapy with young people, and how it can help them step away from criminality.

Did you work with young people after you graduated?

I did hip-hop therapy with young people for a year and a half after I graduated. They saw better of themselves than they did before. I still have some of the young PRU [Pupil Referral Unit] kids that come and record in my home studio now. Some of them are now 18 or 19, and they’re still recording with me. They started when they were 13.

I saw them and not the misbehaviour. You shouldn’t see a child as ‘the naughty kid’, they’re a kid that needs help. Once you see them for that, they open up.

BIG ISSUE: A lot of your music is about coming out as a queer woman. Can you tell me a bit about that?

ONEDA: That’s me, I have to embrace that part of me. And it’s a beautiful part of me as well. It’s a part that I love.

Coming out as being gay, I was sort of alienated by my whole family. They kicked me out. I was there about six months. I didn’t have enough money to sort of live in a hotel or anything like that. You have to find random places to shower, clean up. It was a mad time. But I’m not embarrassed about it. It had to be done. I just had to park up in my car.

I was on my own for a few years – but my family all came around [to me being gay]. They saw I was happy, and that they weren’t going to change me, so they sort of gave up. It can turn around – hope is enough. It’s hopelessness that kills the souls of people.

BIG ISSUE: Tell me about Herchester and the work you’re doing to lift up other voices

ONEDA: Herchester is a space I’m building for non-binary and female artists, rap artists. It’s about the space, really – to have a space in the community for them.

It’s about really pushing them and giving them a safe space to be their weirdest self, and helping them rap, writing together, showing each other tracks we’ve made and lyrics.

Whether you want a career, or you just want to come and express yourself, that’s good. That’s good for the soul as well. In everyday life you don’t normally get the chance to pour out your soul.

I want my daughter to feel comfortable being her authentic self, and not care what other people are thinking.

What message do you want to pass onto her – and to people listening to your album?

I used to think, if I’m doing something and 100 people don’t like it, then I must be doing something wrong. Now I think, if I’m doing something and a million people don’t like it, that’s still amazing.

You have to care enough about yourself in this life. Most people just let life happen to them, instead of taking time out to reflect on things, just giving themselves time and not rushing and not living by society standards. Stop following everyone else, stop caring what everyone else thinks about what you do and when you do it. Stick to your own time, and think about making yourself happier.

You can stream Formula OneDa by OneDa here. This interview was edited for length and clarity.

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