In this crazy world, it’s hard to know what fashion even is, let alone be able to predict trends. If someone told me that dressing like Mr Blobby was going to be big in spring/summer ’23 I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Of course, it doesn’t help that I am now at an age where I think an M&S waterfall cardigan is the height of fashion, and trends that I used to wear have come around at least twice, including flares, low-rise jeans and a relentless stream of Bianca from EastEnders puffa jackets.
Yet the twisty wheel of fashion continues to turn, regardless of whether unadventurous leopard print-clad old bags like me can understand it. And haute couture will always be deeply silly and fabulously liberating. There’s really nothing to stop any designer from sending a model down the runway in clogs and a Homebase gazebo, and that’s just how it should be.
Your support changes lives. Find out how you can help us help more people by signing up for a subscription
So with our hemlines tucked into our knickers, let us stumble into the second season of Next in Fashion which celebrates the catwalk’s neon, colourful ridiculous-ness so hard that afterwards I had to take a paracetamol.
I never saw the first series with Queer Eye’s Tan France and Alexa Chung, which got axed in the murky and unfashionable depths of the pandemic, but now it’s working hard to be noticed with the addition of model of the moment Gigi Hadid. Of course, this designer talent contest is as daft as Elton John’s diamond-encrusted toilet brush – but if we can’t dress up as enormous bouquets of flowers as the world crumbles around us, when can we?
The hopeful designers are as eye-catching as their bonkers clothes, including Qaysean (wearing an Aztec inspired jacket, cat eyeliner, a gold buckled belt and denim hot pants), ’90s hip-hop baby Deontré, who created such a massive padded jacket that it looked like it could double up as a spy balloon, and Megan – a neon-haired, clompy-shoed pixie living in Willy Wonka World. Then we also have drag queen dresser Godoy, Bao, Desyrée, Eliana, Amari and Nigel, who could well be the first Nigel in the world with a set of teeth grills.